is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
