I accidentally burped into my bong.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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