I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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