Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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