Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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