Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Randomize
