we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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