He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
