doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
