Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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