i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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