I need help removing her.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
