I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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