He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
