Your tits are I can't wait for
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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