But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
