Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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