so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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