I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
