After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
