that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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