Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
my vag is so smooth its legendary
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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