I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
