Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
