I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
