I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
