the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
