I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize