ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i just google imaged poop.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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