Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
