Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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