Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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