now i know why i became what i already was.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
