Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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