Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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