mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
