youre lurking in front of me
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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