Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
