I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
