Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
