She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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