I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
We got so high we made milksteak
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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