physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
