True but thats because hes a fetus.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Randomize
