well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
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