So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
