dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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