Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
