i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
