He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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